Right up there with people who steal my art, “Freebie Seekers” are second-closest to my heart. Not a week goes by when I don’t get someone looking for me to donate my time and services to their great project.

They aren’t totally cheap though… they often offer to put a link to my blog on their project or website, which at least 11 people will see.

I wonder if these people go into the grocery store and ask for free stuff: “Can I have these Twinkies? I don’t have any money to pay for them, but I’ll tell my friends about your store where I got them for free so you can have even more people asking for free Twinkies… plus you’ll have the great feeling of having helped someone in need of a snack.”

Here’s a classic that arrived in my inbox this morning (emphasis mine) … not only is there no chance of getting paid, it’s a rush job!:

Dear Brad,
I came accross you’re Cartoon Beer illustration while searching the internet and was wondering if you would be willing to produce a simple logo incorporating this design for us… in this years … Rugby tournament. Unfortunatly we are not in a position to pay for you’re services at the moment, however we would be willing to include you’re logo on our (shirts). I have attached a draft copy of our (shirt) which will be produced shortly. Please get back to me with you’re decision as soon as possible as all images to be included in the (shirt) must be submitted within the next week.

Kind Regards,
Douche Von Broughton.

My response:

Hi Douche,
Thanks for thinking of me for your urgent charity project but I am not currently taking on new assignments at this time, especially non-paying ones.
Cheers,
~B

Have you seen the Toilet Monster yet? This is one of those videos that gets funnier every time you watch it… not that I’ve watched this poor kid’s reaction over and over for my own amusement or anything…

I remember reacting similarly when I was a kid after being scared by my dad when I came home from trick or treating with my older sister. Just as we were entering the house, he popped out of the cellar door creepily wearing a crazy wig and arms flailing. I screamed and ran away… and just kept running. And screaming. Good times. Sorry kid, but welcome to the club.

If you’d like to get your very own Bog Toilet Monster to forever scar and traumatize your loved ones, go grab one here while there are still some left. And be sure to record video of it and post it on YouTube for millions to laugh at.

This has got to be the most disturbing thing I’ve heard all morning.

AHMEDABAD, India (Reuters) - A newborn baby girl survived an ignoble birth after slipping down the toilet bowl of a moving Indian train onto the tracks when a pregnant woman unexpectedly gave birth while relieving herself on Tuesday.
“My delivery was so sudden,” said the Bhuri Kalbi, the mother of the infant, born two months prematurely. “I did not even realize that my child had slipped from the hole in the toilet.”

Kalbi, a 33-year-old woman from a village in Rajasthan, fainted on the toilet seat after the birth for a few minutes before waking up and alerting her family.

“They stopped the train and ran on the tracks to find the baby,” she said, speaking from her hospital bed in the western city of Ahmedabad.

Railway staff at a nearby station were alerted and soon found the newborn girl lying uninjured on pebbles by the track. She is now in intensive care because of her premature birth, doctors said.

Most toilets on Indian trains are filthy chutes emptying directly onto the tracks.

Via Yahoo News